VARIETIES OF THE COACHING EXPERIENCE

Hi All,

There is something new I am learning in the realm of coaching; something that is obvious when said, but not so obvious when experienced; that is, there are varieties of coaching experiences. Or said another way, not all coaching experiences are equal. I've found that depending on the needs of the individual, the coaching experience will vary widely from person to person, or even from session to session with the same person.

Here is the ideal theory: you walk a person through the 5 R's of Bob Logan's Coachnet.org. Those 5 R's being:
Relate - reconnect relationally and find reason to celebrate
Reflect - help the client to consider where they are at in terms of their mission and goals
Refocus - help the client to consider next action steps needed to take
Resource - help the client to discover and locate any resources which will help them in their endeavors
Recommit - to the selected action steps

But the reality is that many times, depending where a person is at, a large amount of time may be spend in just one of these categories as you help someone make their way through their current dilemma. At the start of a coaching relationship more time may be spend at the Relate session. Or, if you meet w/ someone frequently enough, you may need to only apply a cursory review of the Reflect stage, if they feel they are still on track with their mission. Refocus, Resource, and Recommit will also vary from person to person.

Here is another insight; it is related to the issue of directive or non-directive coaching. Bob Logan's organization has an excellent goal to ask the client to direct the entire coaching process, through non-directive coaching. It is equivalent to always asking, "What do you want to talk about today", and then proceeding forward on that chosen path. This system works really well with highly motivated coachees, such as I often work with in the ministry field; men or women who are highly directed and goal-driven. But what I have been discovering as we branch out our coaching more broadly in the congregation, and begin involving volunteers in the process who are not full-time in ministry, is that they sometime need something a little different from their coaching. They sometimes need a little bit of direction and help. When I begin the coaching sessions with them they will sometimes say that they are quite sure what they want to talk about or work one; they ask me for some guidance. And if I am judicious with my comments, I may be able to get them back on track without interposing my own desires upon them. So, I've begun to prepare a bit for some of these encounters with volunteers who need guidance. I've prepared a "Seven Steps to Life Success" coaching guide [which you can download from my website, under Coaching Resources]. I also sometimes walk them through a mental grid of steps they are taking towards personal growth; the 'personal growth' set of coaching questions. Each of these have been helpful tools to use when people need just a bit of directed coaching.

Coaching is a very personal activity, which needs to be tailored to the needs of the individuals being coached. The recommended systems are all very good, but they are just guides which serve the needs of the coachees.

Just a thought to shine up your coaching...

Dr. Bill Miller