COACHING BASICS: What Coaching Is & Is Not

Hi All,

Continuing from last week, where we talked about WHY you might need a coaching ministry in your church, we'll talk about WHAT exactly coaching is and isn't. Let's start with defining what Coaching is NOT.

--Coaching is NOT Counseling.
Coaching is not about focusing on the emotional trauma or difficulties of life. It is not about a focus on the problems of the past, but the opportunities of the future. Coaching is not about the past -- it is about the future.

--Coaching is NOT Consulting.
The definition of consulting is bringing in an expert who tells you what to do. And we know what the definition of an "expert" is: An "X" is a nobody, and a "spurt" is a drip under pressure! Coaching is not about telling others what you know -- it is about asking another what they know.

--Coaching is NOT Mentoring.
This is probably the hardest one to understand. But mentoring is defined as someone who has gone on before & has greater experience, and now comes alongside someone in the same career field and shows them the way.

But that is not what coaching is about. Coaching, when done right, does not require specific knowledge about a certain career field. I have coached people who have worked for IBM, as technical consultants; I've coached people who lead businesses, or are moms, or serve as media specialists; and I've never done any of those things.

Coaching is about drawing out from someone else what they want to do & need to do. They need to know their job; I don't. My job is to help coach them to their best choices. Coaching is not about leading someone, but drawing out from them.

There are two keys to Christian coaching:
First, asking powerful questions which help people to discover their true calling, motivations, goals & actions.
Second, Christian coaching includes a spiritual, upward focus in which we help people to ask God to show them His specific will for their lives.

OK, so we have defined what coaching is NOT, and what are the two keys of Christian Coaching. So let's try to put it all together in a working definition: "Christian coaching is helping people to discover God's specific will for their lives in the day-to-day responsibilities of work and life, by asking powerful questions which help people to discover their true mission, motivations, priorities, and actions."

So, in review, last week we covered WHY you might need a coaching ministry in your church, and now this week WHAT coaching is and is not. Next week, I'll take you through a sample coaching session so that you get a feel for it. Then we will finish up with HOW to get a coaching ministry started in your church.

God's best to you and your ministry,

Dr. Bill

Book Review: "How the Mighty Fall"

Hi All,

I really like Jim Collin's books; they are very readable with a lot of great business anecdotes and real-world applications - for those in business. But, the question I always ask, as I'm sure you do too, when reading a great business book like this, is how does it relate to the local church?

The full name of Jim Collin's book is "How the Mighty Fall and Why Some Companies Never Give In". The bulk of his book summarizes "The Five Stages of Decline", which are:
Stage 1: Hubris Born of Success
Stage 2: Undisciplined Pursuit of Moore
Stage 3: Denial of Risk and Peril
Stage 4: Grasping for Salvation
Stage 5: Capitulation to Irrelevance or Death

The first question I want to ask is whether or not it is even possible for a book squarely aimed at business leaders, and filled with business stories and illustrations could have ANY application for the local church. To this, I have to say that 'yes, the principles apply for one primary reason: both businesses and churches are filled with human beings! Human nature being such as it is, people are people wherever you are.'

Now, as Christians, we believe in the power of the Holy Spirit to help people to overcome the less positive sides of their personalities, and to overcome temptations. But this book is specifically about people who, because of great success are more prone to the temptations of pride or hubris born of success, or to a greed for more, whether money, power, or fame. It has to be admitted as we look at the history of the Christian church in recent history, that it is just as possible for Christian church leaders to be overcome by pride or greed. Although the Holy Spirit is there to provide guidance and wisdom and humility, we see that not all church leaders avail themselves of His help and support.

That is why, then, I believe that there are some lessons which can be learned for us in the church from this book. So let's look at each:

Stage 1: Hubris born of success
We only need to read a few editions of Christianity Today, or USA Today, to find stories of churches which are incredibly successful, and whose leaders begin to display a taste for the trappings of success. It could be boards which give them an unprecedented raise in salary; it could be leaders who buy mansions for themselves; or begin wearing tons of bling as a conspicuous statement of success. Or in less visible displays of hubris, it could simply be the pastor of a large and fast-growing church who is walking with a little more swagger than appropriate for a Christian leader, and is a little too quick to tell you the attendance numbers of his church.

It happens. And when it does, we don't even need Collins to remind us of the consequences. For three thousand years the Holy Scriptures in Proverbs have reminded us that pride comes before a fall. (A man’s pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor. Proverbs 29:23)

Stage 2: Undisciplined Pursuit of More
I've seen churches get into this when their success causes them to begin to focus on other things other than making disciples. We are here to fulfill the Great Commission of Matthew 28:19-20 and make disciples. Many churches in their youthful stage focus on the main thing, but then once they become successful, they start putting on conferences, hosting seminars, and basically telling THEIR story to other churches, instead of telling HIS story to the lost.

I'm not trying to be judgmental here; just making some observations which are hard to avoid. The vast majority of churches are faithfully serving Jesus and the exceptions which make the headlines are a really small percentage.

Stage 3: Denial of Risk and Peril
I don't have as much experience with this one in the church world, but knowing something about human nature, I can see that there are things to learn and remember and apply to our churches from this section as well. This one could be evidenced in cases where the church begins to plateau, and maybe even decline, but the leaders are not concerned. The may believe it is only temporary, or they believe that it is unspiritual to be concerned about numbers. But if somebody doesn't get concerned, the trend is only likely to continue to go downward. It is the role of pastoral leaders to assess reality and not deny it.

Stage 4: Grasping for Salvation
Hey the church is all about helping people to find salvation, but I don't think that is what Collins has in mind here. What Collins is referring to is when the organization begins to decline and everyone knows it; it can no longer be denied. So the organization starts taking drastic action to try to address it, sometimes veering way off course from the central mission in an attempt not to die.

I've seen churches that do this in various ways. At one point, I was providing some guidance to a couple of churches that were considering a church merger. And the reason they were thinking about merger was the same as the number one reason why most churches consider the same - because they had small attendance each, and they felt that by combining they could get big, and do big things. Wisely, this merger did not happen. And the reason I say that is that you don't get big to do big things; you do big things for Jesus, and then sometimes, as a result, you get big.

Stage 5: Capitulation to Irrelevance or Death
Businesses do this every day, and so do, unfortunately, churches. I have a factoid in the Church Growth Factoids section that says this: "Almost three times as many churches in America are closing (3,750) as are opening (1,300) each year." [LOST IN AMERICA, Tom Clegg & Warren Bird, p. 30].

It happens, but what Collins is saying in the final chapter of his book "Well-founded Hope" is that it doesn't have to. He makes the statement, "If you've fallen into decline, get back to solid management disciplines - now!" [Jim Collins, How the Mighty Fall, p. 119]. This could be easily applied to churches. If you are experiencing decline, you need to get back to solid discipleship principles. Assess the needs of your people and start meeting them, both spiritually and otherwise.

Jesus has called us to "make disciples" (Mt. 28:19). That is the number one calling of every church. Jesus has set the mission, and we need to make certain as churches, whether we are experiencing success or decline, that we focus on this goal. Jesus has called us to win people to faith and then to teach them to follow Him. It's really a pretty simple idea, but the execution of it gets extremely tricky for churches; no doubt about that.

What I learned in reading this book is to focus on, "the main and the plain"; do what Jesus called us to do: Make Disciples.

I know it is not easy, but I wish for God's best for you in doing exactly that.

For Christ and His Kingdom,

Dr. Bill

How to decide if your church needs a coaching ministry

Hi All,

How would you know if your church needs a coaching ministry?
Just try this test; has this ever happened to you?

Someone approaches you about a new ministry idea, and you think it sounds great. So you encourage them to get started. They find a couple of other team members, start making their plans with great excitement and zeal. They meet for a few weeks and then with great fanfare announce the start of their new ministry to the church and community at large. Their first meeting goes pretty well; not quite as great as they hoped, but OK. So they continue with the ministry and you check in with them every now and then, assuring them of your prayers. As the weeks go on, the ministry continues, but it seems from your perspective as an outsider, that some of the enthusiasm is beginning to fade a bit. Then you hear that one of the key leaders has a scheduling conflict, and cannot continue with the ministry. The ministry continues on for a while longer, but they don't seem to be having the attendance they once did. And then eventually, you hear that they are going to discontinue the ministry, because they have too many scheduling conflicts and not enough attendance. And this happens again and again with various ministries and groups in your church.

And if this experience is yours, then that is exactly why your church needs a coaching ministry!

Consider this scenario again if you had a coaching ministry:

Someone approaches you about a new ministry idea, and you think it sounds great. So you encourage them to get started. But this time, instead of just sending them on their way with a prayer and a blessing, you assign to them a Ministry Coach. Because your church has a coaching ministry, you are able to supply coaches for any new small groups, or ministry teams, that want to get started. The Ministry Coach meets with this leader, and asks some basic planning questions that helps them to lay a good foundation. What's more, the Ministry Coach continues to meet with them during the planning questions, and helps to provide loving accountability, so that they follow through on all of their plans before launch. They meet for a few weeks and then with great fanfare announce the start of their new ministry to the church and community at large. Their first meeting goes pretty well; not quite as great as they hoped, but OK. So the Ministry Coach helps them to examine their first meeting, and what went well, and why, in particular, some parts did not go as well as they had hoped. By asking powerful questions, the coach helps them to see their ministry in a new light, as it might really be to someone who attends that ministry. And the Ministry Coach not only asks powerful questions, but doesn't solve their problems for them. By forcing the ministry team leaders to find their own solutions to the various problems they face, the Ministry Coach helps them to 'own' their own ministry; to take responsibility for fixing things and making them better.

As the weeks go on, it seems from your perspective as an outsider that the enthusiasm is actually growing. The leaders are excited and actually seem to be getting a deeper sense of satisfaction from their ministry. Yes, they encountered problems, but with each one their Ministry Coach helps them to find the cause of the problem, and brainstorm possible solutions, and set deadlines for accomplishing those solutions. The ministry goes from strength to strength, and you as a pastor couldn't be happier.

So, because you have a functioning coaching ministry in your church, your small groups and ministry teams are achieving success and people are growing spiritually, and your church is growing.

So, how do you decide if your church needs a coaching ministry?
If your experience is more like the first story, than the second, then you need a coaching ministry in your church.

That's all for now. We'll talk about coaching some more in my next few posts.

Yours for the kingdom of heaven,

Dr. Bill

Sticky Church & Simple Church

HI All,

If you've read this blog for a while, you know that I am a fan of the Simple Church concept. The book Simple Church has really changed the way we do things around at my church. Although we read the book three years ago, we are still applying its principles today. They seem to get truer the older we get as a church.

Well, I have recently finished another great book, called Sticky Church by Larry Osborne. The focus of this book is on the power of sermon-based small groups to make your church "sticky"; that is, the sort of church that people don't easily leave. Larry Osborne has been the pastor of North Coast Church for years, and his wisdom and experience as a pastor comes through many pages of this great book. It is filled with good insights about how church works and doesn't work. It is not faddish. It is based on years of personal experience. He shares in this book how his church implements sermon-based small groups and how such a focus has helped to provide both spiritual growth and assimilation 'stickiness'.

He makes an interesting observation in chapter 12, "Overcoming the Time Crunch". Here's what he says:

"As I travel across the nation, speaking to leaders from various denominational, theological, and socioeconomic backgrounds, I've found they all say the same thing. As a rule of thumb, most people will participate in only two time slots a week. No matter what the third meeting is for or when it takes place; it's hard to get anyone to show up."

(p. 92, Sticky Church)

This, of course, ties in perfectly with the insights of Thom Rainer and Eric Geiger in Simple Church.

I am learning again and again the importance of stream-lining the church calendar so that we as a church can focus on that which is most important. And for us that means weekend worship and one spiritual growth opportunity mid-week. For us that may be a small group or a short-term discipleship course. But if we add too many other events, we distract our people from what they most need for spiritual growth and events.

The question I would ask you, as I ask myself now, is 'Does this plan (for some ministry event) fit with our 'two-slot paradigm'?

If there are only two slots in most - not all - people's lives, what do you want those two slots to be? You need to make a determination of this as the pastor of the church. What is important for the spiritual health of your people? As I ask myself that question, there is not a lot that I feel is worthy of pushing out their need to fellowship and pray each week with some close Christian friends as they support one another in a small group, in the hopes of living a successful Christian life. What is more important than that?

For most churches, if they are forced to choose -- and the pace of life in most communities IS forcing you to choose -- they would pick as number one, the weekend worship, and as number two, some form of small group community for spiritual life and growth.

We all need to keep this reality in mind as we make the programming choices for our busy, busy, busy church calendars.

Yours for the Kingdom of Heaven,

Dr. Bill

The New HighPowerResources.com Website

HI All,

Have been working for several months on a new look for the website, HighPowerResources.com.

It's all up and running now, and I'm pretty happy with it. It has a much better look, and you will find it much easier to find things, and overall, quite a bit more functional. (If you find any bad links, please let me know, as we are still fine-tuning parts of it.) But the overall result, should be that you have a much more functional site to find the power tools you need for ministry. In the future, we will be adding more interactive features for you, so that you can easily find new articles and tools which have been released for you.

The main focus of what I am hoping to provide fellow pastors are those tools which meet two criteria:
First, something that helps me in ministry.
Second, something that I know a lot about, so that I can help other pastors in the same areas.

That's why the software is stuff I have made myself and use right now in ministry. I am a current user of SermonBase, Shepherd Care, and FamilyFaces.

The sermons are ones which I have preached, and so there are no copyright issues in making them available to other pastors who may also find them helpful.

The entire coaching section is made up of tools which I have created because I found them helpful in my coaching of other people.

And the seminars are on topics that I have taught on quite a bit, so I know what is helpful for others.

So, it's all there for you. Take a look at the new site. And enjoy!

For Christ and His Kingdom,

Dr. Bill Miller
HighPowerResources.com