COACHING BASICS: What Coaching Is & Is Not

Hi All,

Continuing from last week, where we talked about WHY you might need a coaching ministry in your church, we'll talk about WHAT exactly coaching is and isn't. Let's start with defining what Coaching is NOT.

--Coaching is NOT Counseling.
Coaching is not about focusing on the emotional trauma or difficulties of life. It is not about a focus on the problems of the past, but the opportunities of the future. Coaching is not about the past -- it is about the future.

--Coaching is NOT Consulting.
The definition of consulting is bringing in an expert who tells you what to do. And we know what the definition of an "expert" is: An "X" is a nobody, and a "spurt" is a drip under pressure! Coaching is not about telling others what you know -- it is about asking another what they know.

--Coaching is NOT Mentoring.
This is probably the hardest one to understand. But mentoring is defined as someone who has gone on before & has greater experience, and now comes alongside someone in the same career field and shows them the way.

But that is not what coaching is about. Coaching, when done right, does not require specific knowledge about a certain career field. I have coached people who have worked for IBM, as technical consultants; I've coached people who lead businesses, or are moms, or serve as media specialists; and I've never done any of those things.

Coaching is about drawing out from someone else what they want to do & need to do. They need to know their job; I don't. My job is to help coach them to their best choices. Coaching is not about leading someone, but drawing out from them.

There are two keys to Christian coaching:
First, asking powerful questions which help people to discover their true calling, motivations, goals & actions.
Second, Christian coaching includes a spiritual, upward focus in which we help people to ask God to show them His specific will for their lives.

OK, so we have defined what coaching is NOT, and what are the two keys of Christian Coaching. So let's try to put it all together in a working definition: "Christian coaching is helping people to discover God's specific will for their lives in the day-to-day responsibilities of work and life, by asking powerful questions which help people to discover their true mission, motivations, priorities, and actions."

So, in review, last week we covered WHY you might need a coaching ministry in your church, and now this week WHAT coaching is and is not. Next week, I'll take you through a sample coaching session so that you get a feel for it. Then we will finish up with HOW to get a coaching ministry started in your church.

God's best to you and your ministry,

Dr. Bill

Handling the Stalled & Dissatisfied in your Church

Hi All,

Willowcreek released their third book in their church analytics series:
Reveal, Follow Me, and now, Focus.

These books are based on an in-depth study they have made of what truly helps people to grow spiritually. Many have equated these along the lines of the "Natural Church Development" series of tests which many churches have taken. The focus is a bit different however. The NCD test focuses on the 8 growth factors for numeric church growth. It's focus is on the 'minimum factors' which must be dealt with or continued numeric growth ceases to happen.

The REVEAL studies on the other hand, are more focused on the individual and what it takes to help them grow spiritually.

Just a quick reminder of the four stages of spiritual growth identified by the Willowcreek study:
1st stage, Exploring
2nd stage, Growing
3rd stage, Close to Christ
4th, Christ-Centered

Two particular problem groups were identified within this growth process: the 'Stalled' and the 'Dissatisfied'.

I want to focus on one part of this which I feel hasn't received enough attention, and that is the reference to people who are classified as "Stalled" and "Dissatisfied" within your congregation. Every church has them and if you do not find a way to minister to their particular spiritual needs, a couple of negative consequences may ensue: First, they may leave your church; especially if they are in the "dissatisfied" category of the spiritual doldrums. Second negative consequence is that they may simply go through the motions but make no further spiritual progress or participation in your congregation. If they are in the "stalled" category and you have done nothing as a church to move them, they might keep coming for the sake of their children or spouse, but as far as their own spiritual life is concerned, they are pretty much done.

You don't want either one of these things to happen to you people, so what can you do?

Here is where the power of coaching comes into play once again. A coach can come alongside someone and help them to listen to God's Holy Spirit guide them out of the spiritual morass they have encountered. Like the Holy Spirit, who is the Counselor, a human coach can help a Christian to listen to their heart and make good decisions concerning the next step in their spiritual growth.

A 'coach' is not a 'teller', but an 'asker'. Unlike an athletic coach, a Christian life coach does not 'tell'; s/he asks powerful questions to help reveal to the person being coached what they are thinking or feeling.

So how does this relate to those who are in the Stalled or Dissatisfied spiritual state?

STALLED - Let's note that those who are Stalled, are stalled in their spiritual growth. Somehow, the particular offerings of the church they are attending has not grabbed them and touched their soul in a way to keep them walking with Jesus. What can be done? Most churches, because they do not practice coaching on a large scale, are not going to catch this. Their church is designed for dealing with hundreds of people at once, and the occasional (or not so occasional) person(s) who don't fit the mold are likely to "fall between the cracks" of their programming. But coaching takes this programming and individualizes the church's care for the flock. By providing the ministry of Christian life coaching, a church can reach out to those who feel stalled in their Christian life, and can offer them some help in the form of guided questions, and loving accountability, and basically, somebody who cares.

DISSATISFIED - those who are in this category still have a growing relationship with Jesus, but they are dissatisfied with some aspects of their church life. What can be done? A Coach can come alongside them and help them find their place in the local church in a spot which is satisfying to their soul, because it matches what they are feeling, and where they need help. The Coach can help them to identify the problem, and locate the actions steps necessary to find a solution. Remember that these people are growing spiritually; they are just dissatisfied with the church experience. A coach can help them to take a pro-active stance at their church life involvement.

Willowcreek has identified the problems that can occur, and I believe that Coaching provides a good solution for many people in these situations.

If you are a Coach, or want to learn more about Coaching, the HighPowerResources.com website has a number of Coaching Resources and information.

God's best to you,

Dr. Bill

Coaching Success Stories

HI All,

Just wanted to share with you three stories from our church in the past year which demonstrate the power and value of Christian coaching, and it's incredible potential to change lives.

First up is Karen, who was receiving some life coaching. She was asked during one coaching session, "What would you do if God granted you the freedom to do anything for Him?" (Great coaching question. For more coaching resources go to: http://www.highpowerresources.com/Coaching/Resources.htm) Karen thought for a long time; an uncomfortably long time of silence, and then a bright smile came across her face. She had remembered a dream she had as a young woman to raise foster children. She had given it up when she had kids of her own. The coach asked, "What's stopping you?" (Another great coaching question.) Answer: "Nothing." And she is pursuing her dream now.

Second story is a ministry coaching success story about Jim. Initially he was helping with a ministry in the church, and was treating it more as a 'favor' for the staff person who had asked him. Then that staff person began to learn coaching skills. The top three rules of coaching are "1. The client does the work. 2. The client does the work. 3. The client does the work." The staff person began to discover Jim's motivations for ministry through coaching questions that get to the heart. Then, instead of the staff person coming up with his own action plans for the ministry and asking Jim to do it, this staff/coach now asked Jim what he wanted to do, and more importantly, how he wanted to do it. Jim began to develop ownership for the ministry. And as he did this, his involvement, commitment and zeal went way up. Jim began recruiting his own team to help him with the ministry. And now it has taken off with a solid team of its own. The staff person no longer needs to oversee every detail of the ministry. He is now there just to encourage and cheer on the team. That is the power of ministry coaching to help people own and grow their own ministries.

Third story is about Angela, who was both being coached as a single mom, and learning to coach others. Angela was a single mom who had been addicted to, and sold meth amphetamines. She accepted Christ and the Holy Spirit began to work in her heart and life. She started being coached and it is helping her to get 'unstuck' in the tricky parts of life, even though it is a little tough right now. A coach is helping her to make the right choices and then stick to them through regular accountability. Plus Angela is learning how to be a coach others. She is helping a young woman to make good choices in her marriage. This second woman is getting hope and encouragement from a Christian coach, who just a few years ago, would have tried to sell her drugs instead of giving her coaching help. That is the power of Holy Spirit empowered coaching to change lives for the better!

For Christ & His Kingdom,

Dr. Bill